The messy middle
Month 10 of building Chumi Studio
It’s been a month since I last posted on the Chumi Studio Instagram account.
But it couldn’t be closer to the truth of what entrepreneurship is actually like: unpredictable, messy, and nothing like the pictures.
What I have been up to
I started the month delivering another reorder from my favourite English bookstore, Love Story of Berlin. They have been reordering quite consistently, which is great, but also reminds me that there’s still a lot of work to do on the retail and distribution front.
But I’m hesitant to do more outreach until I’ve figured out my setup. The reprint at the company I intended to work with did not go according to plan. So I will have to go through another round of trials to ensure the quality is good enough for me to scale.
I also shifted my focus for the month on finding suitable jobs and freelance gigs. When doing so, I was faced with two very different challenges:
First, I had to figure out what kind of job I actually want.
The pros of a generalist skillset? You can mould yourself into pretty much anything.
The cons of a generalist skillset? You can mould yourself into pretty much anything.
At first I thought moving back into product management would be the most intuitive. But then I decided to focus on roles at the intersection of politics and tech.
Three reasons: (a) the in-between is where my greatest leverage is, (b) I genuinely like bridging different fields, (c) I’m quite values-driven and prefer work that I consider to be socially meaningful.
Though I quickly realised that platforms like LinkedIn have not been built for people like me. The most relatable job board I’ve found is this one by Generalist World for non-linear careerist and generalists like myself.
The second challenge was of a very different nature.
My mom asked me to join her in the Netherlands and spend some time together 😅
Of course I could’ve said no. But with all the family emergencies that we’ve been through, time together has taken on a different weight. It’s one of these things I don’t think I will ever regret. So I simply hopped on a train a few days after our call and ended up in Rotterdam for a couple weeks.
That meant lots of peaceful walks and quality time with my mom.
But it also meant slowing down on other fronts.
Once I got back, I started writing applications more actively, and socialised a lot. This included events, catchups with other founders, and hangouts with friends. One particularly enjoyable afternoon was an acrylic painting session that reminded me how important it is to make time for creativity outside of work.
How it’s going
I’m quite happy overall, but have been feeling increasingly impatient with myself. The socialising has led to a lot of interesting encounters, and everything seems to be compounding slowly. But it hasn’t translated into much visible output (yet), so my brain didn’t register it as work.
At one point, I did a LinkedIn strategy workshop with one of my founder friends. We mostly focused on positioning, and it reminded me once again how challenging it can be to translate my work and personality into something understandable for others.
I don’t consider being active across different fields an issue. I love what I’m doing. The problem is synthesis. The more colours you use to paint a picture, the more time it will take you to finish it. I feel like I’ve been painting for a while and the image is becoming clearer and clearer, but I’m not quite there yet.
In addition to the job search, I have been thinking more actively about how to align Chumi Studio with my unique skillset in a way that distinguishes it from other businesses. During this time, several people have asked me what I would create next if money didn’t matter, and in every case, the answer was the same.
I’d create children’s books on socially relevant topics like cultural identity and AI. I want to make complex things more playful, fun, and engaging. And although my target group would initially be kids, I think that adults could benefit from it too.
I’ve been telling some friends about it, and was met with a lot of enthusiasm. A friend who’s building a community for families even offered to support me on the distribution front. The only problem? My current headspace. It’s tough to be creative when you’ve got financial pressure in the back of your mind. That’s why I’m trying to solve that part of the equation before I do anything else.
At times, I wonder if I should just take the risk and double down on it. But I’m a bit tired of working alone, and am craving some structure and a stable income. Whether that’s the right bet to take, only time will tell, but I’m going to run with it for now.
Stay tuned
And this was month 10 of building Chumi Studio.
Time flies and at times, I feel behind on everything.
But then I remember that there’s no deadline for the life of my dreams. Whatever timeline is running in my head comes from life paths that are very different to my own. Unique paths will always come with unique challenges.
At the end of the day, it’s all about building a life that feels true to you, and the ultimate judge is you.
so many very real reflections. entreprenurship really is not knowing what each day is going to bring. also, would love to see that children's book on AI & identity!
There are several moments in your text that felt so close to how I think. Those were the moments of feeling seen somehow, even though I know you weren't speaking about me.
"I’m hesitant to do more outreach until I’ve figured out my setup" — totally, I feel I need to get a solid home base first, so I feel I own the process before I scale. Even if it looks from another person's perspective that my 100% is actually their 160% and I could stop at their 95%, which probably feels like 35% on my side, I cannot. It's a compromise that spoils the whole process.
"the in-between is where my greatest leverage is" — YES. I was calling myself "the translator" not because I am translating literal language (although I am living in between three languages now, so I always do), but because I was actually translating requirements from the mgmt to the tech as a PM, the meaning into the words as a copywriter, etc.
"But it hasn’t translated into much visible output (yet), so my brain didn’t register it as work" — 😭😭😭
"The more colours you use to paint a picture, the more time it will take you to finish it." — that is such a good way to put into words how my brain also works. It grabs particles here and there and creates intricate synthesis as output, but the more moving parts there are, the less able I am to do any household tasks because all my processing power is outsourced.
Thank you for finding the words 🫶🏻
I also think that stumbling along the way is sometimes the necessary stage in the bigger picture. That usually cheers me up. But it is really annoying to be in the middle.